Hal Heindel
11-29-2008, 03:08 PM
. . . the Roundabout Way.
In case you're wondering why anyone should want to do that in the first place, clearly you're not familiar with the corporate wheels. Hold back on the sand, make the job look too easy, and next thing you know you're helping with the mail. For every printing buyer whose job has all the security of a grass skirt, here is some free advice:
1. Always submit the manuscript in handwritten form. By the time the typographer gets through calling you with questions, your name will be a household word. Most likely *?#!&*%#, or something to that effect.
2. Make it up to her by putting some of the type specs at the end of the page, and some of the copy on the back.
3. Have the printer order the paper from out of town. Way out of town. So far out that even Ma Bell couldn't dial it direct! This opens up a number of escapes, but mainly it can save your aspirations when the job doesn't get done on time.
4. Always tell the printer exactly what to do, then proceed to give him a free hand. That way you can take credit for whatever turns out right, and shift the blame for why the 10,000 letterheads are missing a telephone number.
5. Insist that the job be ready by noon, but don't pick it up until you get back from vacation. Should the printer get wise, give him all the time in the world, and hell the next day for taking so long.
6. Never approve the printer's bill for payment until the job comes up for rerun. Printers pride themselves on their ability to work well under pressure. Don't let's hurt their pride.
(Written in 1976 when I still had the print shop. Straight from the trenches!)
In case you're wondering why anyone should want to do that in the first place, clearly you're not familiar with the corporate wheels. Hold back on the sand, make the job look too easy, and next thing you know you're helping with the mail. For every printing buyer whose job has all the security of a grass skirt, here is some free advice:
1. Always submit the manuscript in handwritten form. By the time the typographer gets through calling you with questions, your name will be a household word. Most likely *?#!&*%#, or something to that effect.
2. Make it up to her by putting some of the type specs at the end of the page, and some of the copy on the back.
3. Have the printer order the paper from out of town. Way out of town. So far out that even Ma Bell couldn't dial it direct! This opens up a number of escapes, but mainly it can save your aspirations when the job doesn't get done on time.
4. Always tell the printer exactly what to do, then proceed to give him a free hand. That way you can take credit for whatever turns out right, and shift the blame for why the 10,000 letterheads are missing a telephone number.
5. Insist that the job be ready by noon, but don't pick it up until you get back from vacation. Should the printer get wise, give him all the time in the world, and hell the next day for taking so long.
6. Never approve the printer's bill for payment until the job comes up for rerun. Printers pride themselves on their ability to work well under pressure. Don't let's hurt their pride.
(Written in 1976 when I still had the print shop. Straight from the trenches!)